English people have a reputation for a wry sense of humourandThe Queen is no exception.
腐国人民有一种古怪的幽默感，女王也不例外。
Here are a few of her more famous quips over the years:
以下是数年来女王知名的俏皮段子：
On a walkabout in Scotland a helpful observer commented that she looked just like the Queen. To which Her Majesty quickly replied, "How reassuring."
在苏格兰的亲民走访会上，有一名围观好事者说她自己长得和女王很像。结果女王很快答道：“那太让人不放心了。”
Herb gardener JekkaMcVicar has recounted a conversation she had with the monarch, during which she informed the Queen that lily of the valley was once used as a poison. "She said, 'I've been given two bunches this week. Perhaps they want me dead',
"花匠JekkaMcVicar回忆起和女王谈到山谷中的这些百合花曾是有毒的，女王说道：“他们一周给我送两把，也许是想让我早点死。”
When she was sitting for a portrait with the late artist Lucian Freud, the Queen confided that she’d hired one of her protection officers to guard the crown she was wearing for the picture after a drama at a pheasant shoot.
已故画家Lucian Freud在给女王画肖像画的时候，女王和他说了一个秘密，自己在野鸡打猎会之后雇佣了一名保安来守护皇冠。（当时的情况是这样的）
‘I was picking up the guns as I always do when a wounded cock pheasant scratched me and drew blood. The detective assumed I’d been shot, threw himself on top of me and began giving me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. I consider we got to know each other rather well.’
我在捡起枪的时候，一周受伤的野鸡过来挠我，挠出血来。这位侦探以为我受了枪伤，上来就给我嘴对嘴人工呼吸。我想我们的关系应该不错。
She played along when some American tourists asked: 'Do you live round here,' simply replying that she had a house nearby. And when asked if she had met the Queen, she simply gestured to her companion and said: “No, but he has.”
她还戏弄过美国游客，当他们问道：“你住在这儿附近么？”女王简单的回答，她在这里附近有一座房子。当被问及有没有见过女王本尊时，她指着自己的陪同说：“我没见过，但是他见过。”
One time, Princess Margaret was talking to her cousin’s husband, Denys, a thriller writer. She asked him how his latest book was actually coming along. Her Majesty entered the room as he responded: “I desperately need a title”. Listening to this, she immediately quipped: “I cannot think of a reason for giving you one”.
一次，玛格丽特公主和她表姐的老公Denys一位惊悚小说家聊天。当公主问到他即将出版的新书怎么样时。女王正好进来了，然后Denys说：“我迫切地想要一个书名。”这是女王立刻俏皮的回答说：“我想不出有什么理由给你一个（头衔）。”（这里title一词多义）
Queen Elizabeth attended a performance of the Everly Brothers, Cathy’s Clown in the 60’s. Hearing it, she turned to her lady-in-waiting and said: “They really sound like two cats being strangled”.
女王在60岁大寿上看了艾弗里兄弟表演歌曲Cathy’s Clown。听毕，她对女记录员说：“听起来就是像是两只猫被掐死发出的声音。”
Her Majesty was invited for the opening of an exhibition of artist, Lucian Freud’s nude paintings. The Queen seeing all that told her aide that: “I have been very careful to make sure that I am not photographed between a pair of those great thighs”.
女王在参观艺术家Lucian Freud的裸体画艺术展中。女王看着这些话，对她的随从说：“我很小心，千万别被拍在这些大腿中间。”
During that same exhibition, a curator asked Her Majesty if she had ever been painted by Lucian Freud, to which she smiled and replied: “Yes, but not like that”.
在参观完展览以后，被问及想不想要被Lucian Freud画时，女王微笑回答：“是的，不过不要像展出的这种风格。”
The Queen smiling in her wing mirror will melt the coldest of hearts.The Queen attended the Windsor Horse Show on May 10 2017, and the photos of her driving her Range Rover and smiling in the wing mirror will melt even the coldest of hearts.
女王在后视镜的微笑能融化最冰冷的心。2017年5月10日女王开着它的路虎参加温莎马展，这张从后视镜拍摄的照片能够融化最冰冷的心。
Back in 1999, the Queen and Prince Philip were asked to welcome in the new millennium during celebrations in London. When it comes to toasting the year ahead, apparently we share the same priorities as Her Majesty.
1999年女王和飞利浦亲王两人被邀请去伦敦一起迎接新千年。当我们举杯庆祝新千年时，女王和我们一样。
In June 2014, the Queen paid a visit to the set of Game of Thrones in Belfast. While the monarch got within inches of the show's famous Iron Throne, she didn't appear to be impressed by the chair, which is made of thousands of swords and definitely doesn't look comfortable.
2014年，女王去贝尔法斯特也就是《权力的游戏》取景地。在女王里离戏里面著名的“铁王座”只有几步之遥的时候，她看起来对这张椅子并不感冒，这张由几千把宝剑做成的椅子，看起来也不舒服。
So, much to the disappointment of the show's producers, she turned down the chance to actually sit on it. “Apparently the Queen of England is not allowed to sit on a foreign throne,” executive producer David Benioff explained during an interview a year later. “This is an esoteric rule we didn’t know about until that moment.” Still, we're sure she appreciated the model version she was presented with at the end of her visit.
在女王拒绝坐上椅子的时候，该戏的制片人感到很失望。一年以后在接受采访时，该制片人说“很显然英国女王是不可以坐在其他宝座上的。这条奇怪的规则也是我在被女王拒绝时才知道的。”不过在该访问结束时女王对于我们打造的模型还是高度赞赏的。
Two Australian hockey players couldn't believe their luck when the most famous royal in the world popped up in the background of their selfie taken at the 2014 Commonwealth Games. And yes, as Jayde Taylor, who shared the image pointed out, the Queen even smiled for the camera.
在2014年的联邦运动会上，女王入了两位曲棍球运动员的自拍背景，他们两个自己都不敢相信有这么好的运气。不过就是发生了，Jayde Taylor分享了照片，女王甚至还对着镜头笑了。
Among many other things, being the Queen involves a lot of cake-cutting. And sometimes, it doesn't go according to plan. In June 2015, she helped the Women's Institute celebrate its 100th year and was presented with a large fruit cake commemorating the event.
除了其他事情，女王还有很多切蛋糕的活动。而且有的时候还不在计划之内。在2015年的六月，她帮助英国妇女协会庆祝100周年，活动中有一个很大的水果蛋糕。
After the Queen struggled to cut a slice, her daughter Princess Anne stepped in to help. It was a tense moment, one which the monarch reportedly said was "difficult,". Someone get her a better knife, next time.
女王要切成一小块一小块的时候犯难了，他的女儿安娜公主上前帮助。千钧一发的时刻，据报道说女王说“好难。下次有人得准备一把好刀。
During a dinner in Malta, November 2015, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau detailed Queen Elizabeth II’s long and full career and kindly pointed out he was the 12th Canadian prime minister to serve during Queen Elizabeth's 63 year reign.
2015年11月在马耳他的一次晚宴上，加拿大总理Justin Trudeau细说了伊丽莎白的长寿和贡献，还说自己是在伊丽莎白女王执政63年中的第12位加拿大总理。
When she gave her own toast, the monarch quipped : "Thank you, Mr prime minister of Canada, for making me feel so old!"Trudeau later tweeted that the Queen is "forever young" in his eyes. Always a charmer.
当女王回敬的时候，女王俏皮的说：“谢谢你，加拿大总理，把我说的感觉那么老！”之后Trudeau发推文说女王在他的眼里“永远年轻”，永远有魅力。
One of my favourites is when I was serving in the Royal Yacht Britannia and we were acting as The Queen’s home for a fortnight for their holiday in the Western Isles of Scotland in 1995. The Queen was ashore taking a morning walk in local woods with her Master of the Household and a local walked past them and they nodded to each other and said ‘morning’. A few paces on, the local realised who he had just passed and exclaimed “Oh, my God!” to which The Queen quipped, quick as a flash, “No, not quite!”
我最喜欢的一个是，1995年，当时我还在不列颠尼亚号服役，我们正在演习，而女王在苏格兰西部岛屿为期14天的度假。一天清早女王上岸散步，随行一名管家，他们和一名当地人点头示意说“早上好”。几步以后那名当地人意识到刚才是谁走过去了惊呼：“我的神啊！”女王俏皮的回答道：“不，不完全正确！”
（翻译：林浔鸥）